I would like to share with you the story of how I felt led to come here to Magdalena on a more long term basis.
This summer I was at CVE for about ten weeks as summer help. During my stay, I felt God's leading to move here. The following is a more detailed account of what took place.
Near the beginning of July, Carissa asked me if I had thought about coming long term and just told me that it might be something I should pray about. I prayed, but not very seriously, and I did not feel any direction about it that I can remember. At this point I was thinking, "Maybe next year..."
Two weeks later on the third Sunday of July, Ann Wulf asked me if I would be interested in helping her home school three of her boys and I said that probably not, but I would pray about it. That night I read the book of Haggai. One thing that struck me was chapter 1, verse 9: "Because of my house that is laid waste and ye run everyone to his own house." After that I thought about it often. Wednesday night I read Genesis 26:1-13. Verses 2 and 3 are, "Go not down into Egypt; dwell in the land that I shall tell thee of: Sojourn in this land and I will be with thee, and will bless thee." I wondered what that meant.
Saturday night I read Isaiah 58. I appreciated it so much I reread it on Sunday. Verses 6-8 were especially special to me as they spoke to me of how God wanted me to live my life serving others. On Sunday afternoon (the last Sunday of July), I talked to Mom about the above over the phone. Before I made it out of the kitchen, Bill stopped me and after some small talk asked what I thought of staying a little longer to help care for Tadeo, the boy with cerebral palsy I'd been helping with because of Keyla's cancer.
Throughout this whole time, I had been weighing the pros and cons and wondering, wondering, wondering... I worried about Mom, about my teaching and cleaning jobs, about everything. I worried that I only felt called to come here because so many people were asking me about it.
Tuesday, I was staying by myself with Tadeo. That night I struggled to surrender to the possibility of leaving my family and home and coming here. I also read some in the Bible and a song came to my mind that speaks of following God and also without fear. (this comes into the story later.)
Wednesday morning I opened to Matthew 25 where it speaks of "the least of these." I thought about how Tadeo and all the children here are 'the least of these.' Wednesday at lunch, Seth asked me what I thought of coming here. I could hardly believe yet another person was bringing it up. He encouraged me, 'it's not what you want, it's not what we want, it's what God wants."
On Friday morning, my devotional said, "If when God said, "Go", you stayed because you were so concerned about your people at home, you robbed them of the teaching and preaching of Jesus Christ Himself." I prayed and felt calmer than usual as I opened the Bible. I guess I was more prepared to believe. I opened to Matthew 25. This time I looked directly at verse 40, "Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." I took it at that moment by faith that I was supposed to come. But then I wondered...how long? I flipped to Acts 11. Verse 26 says, 'And it came to pass, that a whole year they assembled themselves with the church at Antioch." I took that by faith too. To me it said this wasn't just a month or two stay, but for a longer amount of time. That doesn't mean that I'm for sure staying a year...I'll just be here until God says to go home which could be a few months or a few years or longer. Friday night we had a singing and I prayed that the song I had thought of Tuesday night would be sung. It was chosen. The chorus as I translate it to English, "Where you go, I'll go, where you are, I'll be, by your side I'll go, I will follow you, I will love the same, serve you til the end, without a single fear, I will follow you."
I talked to Bill on the first Monday of August and he suggested I give it the week to think about it and I readily agreed. After a rather difficult Monday and Tuesday morning when I just wanted to know immediately how it would work out, I just gave up, realizing that God would lead me as I go. I felt so much more peaceful all afternoon. Tuesday night, I sat down on my bed and before opening my Bible just prayed something like, "I don't know what I need. Just speak to me." I opened and read Isaiah 45. Verse 2 says, "I will go before thee, and make the crooked paths straight: I will break in pieces the gates of brass, and cut in sunder the bars of iron." That gave me so much encouragement and peace.
Since that time, God continued to encourage me in that this is what I am to do. I went home at my previously decided date of August 19th and was home for three weeks. I arrived here on the 9th and have started caring for Tadeo. I will appreciate your prayers as I try to find a well-balanced routine for Tadeo and I.
