For those who are interested in how this came about, I include the following:
From September 2017 to January 2018, Miguel was thinking and praying about asking me to marry him.
I received the marriage proposal on February 8th and began to pray about if I was ready to consider a marriage proposal. I did not know who it was from, but I asked God to write my story whether that meant saying "yes" or "no." After a week, I came to a place of peace to move forward and ask for the name. I visited with Bro. Mike Leman, the elder for the Magdalena church, on February 21st. I was shocked to discover the brother was Miguel because I had never thought about marrying him. I knew however that God had led me up until that point and He wasn’t about to just leave me there, so to my surprise I felt much more peaceful than I would have expected. I prayed that God would show me His will. I had asked Him to write my story and I truly wanted only what God wanted. I opened the Bible to Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the thoughts I think towards you, thoughts of peace and not of evil to give you an expected end.”
I began to pray that if this marriage was God’s will, He would change my heart and give me love and respect for Miguel. I prayed for Miguel almost every day twice a day for the next three months. Initially, I had big doubts about his motives and his character. I really didn’t know him very well. I could not really understand how God could make a relationship with Miguel be something beautiful or something I would desire, but I prayed for it. God answered my prayers, slowly, but surely he changed my heart.
During the next week, God kept speaking to me that I should keep asking and He would work. I also wrote down lists of everything I appreciated about Miguel, what I knew about him, my fears and assumptions, what I’d heard about him, our interactions in the past few years, my fears for the future, my dreams, and how I could see God having maybe prepared me for marriage to him. This was helpful for me as I tried to sort through truth, assumptions, and falsehood in my own opinion of him. God continued to send songs, sermons, verses, and conversations that strengthened my faith and moved me forward step by step. One song that was very special to me during this time was “Make Something Beautiful” by Laura Story. It was God’s promise to me that He would make this something beautiful if I would open my hands and heart.
About a week and a half later on March 2nd, I visited with Bro. Mike again about how I was feeling, but also about all my doubts. He really encouraged me to base my decision not just on faith and what I had read, but also on wisdom and what the Bible says about marriage in general. We decided to plan a visit with Miguel, so I could ask him some questions. God continued to show his presence. Two songs that really spoke to me during the next two weeks of waiting to visit with Miguel were “The Glorious Unfolding” and “Finish What He started” by Steven Curtis Chapman.
In my first visit with Miguel I asked him about his perspective of God and his relationship with God. I asked him what he desired in a wife and what he believed was the responsibility of a husband and a father. I asked some other questions as well. There were various things he said about commitment and about helping one another that I appreciated. I also appreciated the thought he’d put into the responsibility of a husband and just his general attitude of respect and willingness to learn. Afterwards, I definitely felt a step closer to respecting and loving him, but I still had more questions.
The beginning of April I asked to visit with Miguel a second time and asked him questions about how God leads him, about overcoming temptations, and about my role at CVE. We also ended up visiting quite a bit about some of his childhood experiences. His two uncles, and grandfather were taken away by drug-dealers when he was fourteen. Something I remembered from his testimony when he was baptized and something I appreciated about him from the very beginning was his experience of forgiving those men. As I sat in our second meeting, I kept thinking, “Yes, I can marry him” which shows how much my heart had changed.
God continued to speak to me through verses, songs, and sermons. One chapter that showed up multiple times during the month of April was 1 Corinthians 1 especially the second half. “The Jews require a sign and the greeks seek after wisdom…” I felt I had done both and both ways God had confirmed His will for me to marry Miguel. This chapter spoke to me that, yes, I needed to seek God’s direction, and yes, I need to consider what is wise, but ultimately I would have to just believe.
I waited another couple weeks. Bro. Mike had wanted to visit with Miguel again about some things. By the time he got back to me and said “it basically comes down to your faith,” I was feeling ready for Miguel to know my thoughts on the matter. The night after Bro. Mike emailed me back, I once again prayed to God for direction. I opened my Bible to the concordance and was reading through verses about spiritual adornment. The last verse in the section struck me, Rev. 19:8. So I turned to that chapter, Revelation 19. The marriage of the Lamb. Verse 7-8 says, “Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honor to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready. And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of the saints.”
I really wanted to make the decision and not drag something on and on for not wanting to let go of control. For the past three weeks, God had been speaking to me to open my heart, to release control. So on May 7th, I emailed Bro. Mike back and told him that my answer was yes.
I have only touched the surface of all the conversations, answered prayers, devotional readings, sermons, songs, and verses that have spoken to me during the months of February-May. I am amazed at God’s goodness and how He has spoken. I just want to finish by saying that I asked God to write my story and I have realized that this is His Story. It is all a part of the amazing story that God is writing! "Thank You, Jesus, for making me a part of Your story!"
